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11/29/08

PLEASE SHUT UP

What is it with these people that won't shut up? You know the type I'm talking about... you're at the DMV or waiting for your pizza at Little Caesar's, (hot and ready???) and some guy, even though you are doing your best to give off a do not speak to me vibe, decides he's going to engage you in conversation. Undeterred by your non-responsiveness he forges ahead determined to speak to you whether you like it or not. When you continue to not acknowledge him he'll finally ask a question, forcing you to be a rude asshole when you don't respond. Amazingly, he keeps talking.

11/27/08

GHOST HUNTERS ARE A BUNCH OF FAKERS

So there's this show that I'm sure many of you have seen on the Sci-Fi Channel called Ghost Hunters. For years I've watched this show and have been amazed by some of the evidence of the paranormal they've uncovered. After awhile the two main characters start to wear on you a little. The fat, bald one is named Jason and he's an asshole. He tries to portray himself as this big badass, but in reality he's this tubby little 5' 8" guy. Grant, his little, annoying maggot of a sidekick is even smaller and has the personality of the kid on your grade school basketball team that was always like, "anything for the team, coach." Anyway these guys portray themselves as above reproach in the ghost hunting field and that they go in trying to disprove a haunting, therefor making any evidence they do find 100% ironclad. I've recently come across information that these guys fake some of their so called evidence. Look at this link and see for yourself... (**UPDATE** The link no longer works because of copyright reasons.  It's funny you can see other videos but the one that proves they faked something has a copyright problem.  Yeah.)  I've read that when the production company, Pilgrim Television that produces the show Ghost Hunters were looking for a team to do the show, they first went to a ghost hunting group in California and were turned down because in the contract it stated they would have to fake some evidence. So they brought in TAPS, headed by the aforementioned assholes Jason and Grant. Apparently TAPS didn't have a problem with faking things. Now I've had people watch the show with me and see things like a table move and say it had to be faked. I would argue on TAPS behalf saying that they are for real and genuine. Now I like to think of myself as a halfway intelligent guy, but apparently in regards to TAPS and the show Ghost Hunters I was a complete imbecile. I will never again watch this show unless it is to find reasons to make fun of them. To Jason and Grant I give you my middle finger.

THINGS I'M THANKFUL FOR

I'm thankful our tax dollars are going to such good use with the bailout... I'm thankful Tony Romo's pinky is doing better... I'm thankful for my neighbor's unsecured internet connection... I'm thankful Obama is going to save us all... I'm thankful for Deschutes Brewery... I'm thankful for Widmer Brothers Brewing... I'm thankful for Full Sail Brewery... I'm thankful the Oregon State Beavers have a shot at the Rose Bowl... I'm thankful the Cowboys play on Thanksgiving... I'm thankful I have assholes to bitch about...

THE WORLD IS FULL OF ASSHOLES

Everywhere you go there are assholes. Assholes at work... assholes at the store... assholes on the road. Are assholes even aware that they're assholes? Or have they been assholes so long that it's just become who they are in their core being? Don't you sometimes just feel like punching an asshole right in his face? And why are all assholes male? I suppose it's because a female asshole would technically be a bitch, but that's another post. The worst kind of asshole is one that is your boss. He knows there is really nothing you can do about it if you value your job at all. Some assholes are subversive in their assholishness. It's the little snide comments as you walk away. That kind of asshole is usually small in physical stature and that's why they can't just come out and be a blatant asshole because they would get their ass kicked a lot. Assholes seem to be growing in number so maybe it's time we actually do start punching them in their faces to keep them in check.

11/26/08

A GUY NAMED BOB

Have you ever known anyone that you wondered if they were bi-polar? Not polar like the bear, but polar as in a little wacky and mentally unbalanced. Sometimes they seem perfectly normal and other times they might start to get tears in their eyes over things that to most would seem innocuous. And they do it at places like work, for instance.

MIKE GOLIC IS FAT

What's with those weight loss commercials you see on ESPN that feature Chris Berman and Mike Golic as the spokesperson? Correct me if I'm wrong, but aren't both of those guys kind of fat? They mention Dan Marino in one of the spots, but the strange thing about that is, I don't ever remember Dan Marino being fat. Why would he need a weight loss program if he was never fat? In another one with both Mike and Bob Golic, (who actually looks like he lost weight) they do some weird chant about potroast. Is that really their big selling point? Potroast? I could see if the chant involved hotwings, bacon cheeseburgers, potato skins and the like, but potroast?
Maybe they should change their slogan to, "Join now and in six months you'll still be fat like Mike Golic."